Popular Mechanics just came out with a list of 100 Skills Every Man Should Know. After reading through it, I decided I could do better. Does the average man really need to home brew beer (#17), run rapids in a canoe (#51), or sweat copper tubing (#38 whatever that is)?
Here is my version: "Wendy's List of 100 Things Every Man Should Be Able to Do."
AUTOMOTIVE
1. Drive the speed limit
2. Read a map
3. Ask for directions
4. Admit when lost
5. Diagnose car problems by noises (as demonstrated by wife)
BEAUTY AND HYGENE
6. Tie a bow
7. Disguise a zit
8. Match a tie
9. Recognize if an outfit makes you look fat
10. Buy feminine products
11. Define exfoliation
12. Clip own toenails
13. Keep nose, ears and eyebrows trimmed
CHILD CARE
14. Change a diaper
15. Wipe a nose
16. Clean up vomit
17. Clean up a blowout
18. Make up silly songs
19. Read with funny voices
20. Babysit without the TV on
21. Pick out matching clothes for a child
22. Style a pony tail or pig tails
COOKING
23. Make dinner
24. Serve vegetables
25. Put leftovers away
26. Clean up mess after cooking
27. BBQ everything
28. Compliment even the worst of meals
29. Know when to eat out.
EDUCATION
30. Explain politics
31. Explain sports
32. Explain mortgages
33. Explain insurance
34. Help kids with math homework
35. Figure the velocity of an unladen sparrow
HANDYMAN
36. Use a hammer
37. Use a drill
38. Use a circular saw
39. Know first aid
40. Use wall anchors
41. Patch holes left by wall anchors
42. Build shelves
43. Fix a leaky faucet
44. Fix a leaky shower
45. Turn off the water main
46. Unclog a sink
47. Use a plunger
48. Replace a bathroom floor
49. Fix a running toilet
50. Move heavy things
51. Lift using knees
52. Read directions
53. Assemble IKEA furniture
HOME
54. Open jars
55. Change light bulbs
56. Sew on a button
57. Iron clothes
58. Kill spiders
59. Put a toilet seat down
60. Fold a fitted sheet
61. Use a coaster
62. Find the remote
63. Operate a remote
64. Hit the hamper
65. Hit the garbage
66. Hit the toilet
67. Change a roll of toilet paper
68. Know what not to put in the dryer
69. Part with worn out clothes
70. Wear pants around the house
MEDICAL
71. Give a good massage
72. Give a good foot rub
73. Diagnose PMS
74. Treat PMS
75. Control flatulence
76. Keep mouth shut in delivery room
77. Schedule a doctor/dentist appointment
RELATIONSHIPS
78. Surprise a woman
79. Be chivalrous
80. Pick a gift
81. Plan a date
82. Read minds
83. Recognize a new outfit
84. Recognize a new hair cut
85. Recognize a new hair color
86. Recognize the silent treatment
87. Make a decision
88. Remember details
89. Pretend to enjoy chick flicks
90. Enjoy cultural programs
91. Enjoy socializing
92. Think out loud
93. Go shopping
94. Discuss Twilight
TECHNOLOGY
95. Program DVR
96. Send a text
97. Fix a computer
98. Fix a computer or DVR over the phone
99. Keep a camera away from wife’s rear end
100. Delete unauthorized pictures of wife
What do you think? Did I miss anything? (Of course Kelly does all of these things wonderfully or I would not be able to write such a list in good conscience.) ;-)
8 comments:
That is awesome!
I love #94. Although in Rich's case I would have to add (without sarcasm.)
You are funny. You know I only do about 5 or 6 of them. Wait, I just read them again... I only do 4 or 5.
After wife goes to Twilight (movie) surprise her by cleaning the house and or get an I love the Cullen's T-Shirt and wear it!
Honestly just learned the fitted sheet trick myself!!! It was my stepdad who taught me!!!! Loved this post.
Troy had this list and loved reading it and telling me about it. Good job on thinking of posting it.. I missed that idea. Troy used #69, to learn a new way to tie his TIE on Sunday.
And regarding #64, 65, and 66, it is MY contention that anything within 3 feet counts.
that's a great list! I think I need a list like that to work on... :)
This is hillarious!!! I love it! I wonder if my husband and my score would match??
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